When Push comes to Shove -- Chapter 14

By Ray Simpson

When Push comes to Shove -- Chapter 14

Serialisation of Paul Hodgson's book

Lifelong Darlington fan Paul Hodgson wrote a book 20 years ago called "Push comes to shove", an account of two Darlington seasons.

Here, he recalls September 1999.

With a temperature of 80 Fahrenheit, it was shorts and T-shirt weather when we played Exeter City at Feethams. The lift bus dropped me off at the Dalesman for half past eleven.

Mike was already there, sitting outside at a wooden trestle table with a bottle of Budweiser in his hand. After I’d parked my chair, he went inside the pub and bought me one.

Ian and Simon arrived at twelve o’clock. After a few more drinks, we headed to the ground where I bought a programme and put it inside the pocket of my leather jacket.

Ian, Simon and I went for a drink in Strikers. It was too hot for Mike in there so he took his seat in the East Stand.

 There were less than a hundred Exeter City fans at the game.  Having made the journey in the opposite direction many times myself, I had to admire their loyalty, despite the fact that I didn’t like their club.

The crowd started to filter in and the tannoy played the “Old Spice” advert music from Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana. Our mascot, Mr Q, and Billy Bubbles took off their sweltering hot costumes when they left the pitch. The announcer from Alpha Radio, Steve Lee, rubbed in the fact that Hartlepool (who had kicked off earlier) had lost, which naturally brought a big cheer from the crowd!

I sat in the pitch-side disabled area; on this occasion, Ian was my companion, whilst Mike sat next to Chris Hardy. Roger Martin, Andy Munro and John Gray were further along the same row.

 After the match, George Reynolds ran onto the pitch waving his scarf, and was enthusiastically applauded by the home fans after our 1-0 victory courtesy of debutant Craig Russell’s strike.  Russell, the former Sunderland forward, had joined Darlo on loan from Manchester City earlier that week.

Ian and I both agreed that although Darlo hadn’t played to the best of their ability, they had just about deserved their victory in what was a hard fought contest.

Once George had left the pitch, Mike collected me (Ian went straight home to Catterick) and we went upstairs to the Ambassador Suite. There were some lads near the lift having an argument with a steward over the dress code. Not to be held up by such inconsequential matters, we just barged past, got in the lift and closed the door, even though Mike was quite inappropriately attired in trainers, football shorts and a T-shirt! Interestingly we weren’t even challenged.

We found a place near the big screen television from which to watch the England game against Luxembourg. I sat next to Steve Keeney while Mike chatted with Brian Elsey from Sheffield about the ITV game show Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Brian had made a number of calls to try to become a contestant on the programme, all without success.

 I had a chat with George and Adam Reed about the match. Like Ian and me, they both agreed that we had just about deserved the win.  George also stated that he still hadn’t finished reading the manuscript and that once he had, he would give us a decision regarding the sponsorship.  He had received a copy via my close friend, and former Darlo captain Kevan Smith back in May and at the time he seemed keen to help us to get it published. However, with him now appearing to stall, I was beginning to have my doubts.

Ten minutes before the end of the televised game, which was a forgone conclusion (6-0 to England), Mike took me down in the lift to Strikers Bar and asked Earl Gray to book a taxi for me later. Mike had to walk to a cycle shop to collect his recently purchased bike which had been in for a service.

I stayed in Strikers with John until around seven o’clock, then I headed home in the cab that he had booked for me.

For the away game against Rochdale, Mike and I went in the car with Ian and Simon. We made steady progress without any delays and arrived at Spotland at half past one.

 Outside the stadium, Ian had an argument with a club official as to where he should park his car. “Is he all there?” I asked rather too loudly, annoyed by the man’s condescending attitude. Ian and Mike both shushed me and told me to be quiet. After a few choice words, and showing him my wheelchair which was still in the boot, he eventually allowed us to park in a disabled bay.

 Before I had the chance to get out of the car, a woman appeared and then got rather stroppy with us, saying that we couldn’t park there. Mike didn’t think she was really convinced that I was disabled, despite the fact that the above mentioned club official had already seen my wheelchair We didn’t have an orange badge to display in the windscreen because I’d left it at home. Ian was annoyed by now and asked, “Do you want to see the wheelchair as well?”

After wasting so much valuable drinking time arguing the toss with the two ‘Little Hitlers’, we headed straight to the Church pub near the ground and sat outside in the beer garden overlooking a bowling green.

I overheard some Darlo fans saying that we were after Kevin Ball from Sunderland – time would only tell when it came to that particular rumour. As it turned out he never did sign for the club.

Interestingly, the barman remembered me from last season – he even brought me a bottle of Budweiser without me having to queue for it A very nice gesture I thought.

Mike went with Simon to buy some chips from Cockley’s chippie over the road on Willbutts Lane. When Mike ordered chips and a sausage for himself and then some chips for Ian and I, despite his masses of qualifications, he couldn’t manage to fasten down the polystyrene lids on the containers! Fortunately, Simon came to his rescue. Trust a youngster to know the trick!

As Mike came out of the chippie, he bumped into Janette Marquiss. She told him that she was down for the weekend, staying with her dad in Preston.

Simon and Mike then decided to buy some programmes, before returning to the pub. Standing outside the front entrance were Roger Martin, Richard Jones and Earl Gray.  It came as no surprise to any of us that John and Richard were still drinking as we left, despite the fact that it was a quarter to three.

Once inside the ground, Mike took me to the disabled area, where Terry Soley sat next to me. However, Mike was prevented by a steward from standing beside me so he took a seat in the front row of the Main Stand, where he found himself next to a very pretty girl. She turned out to be Lisa, David Hodgson’s secretary. Mike therefore engaged her in conversation and discovered that she hailed from Hartlepool. Quite ironic, in the circumstances!

At half-time I had a chat with two of the Darlington players, Adam Reed and Steve Tutill. Steve told me that he should be fit for the next game after his leg injury sustained in pre-season, whilst Adam stated he’d be out for two further weeks.

 The first half was largely uneventful until the dismissal of Rochdale defender, Keith Hill, for a second bookable offence, the latter being for a foul on Marco Gabbiadini.

Despite the fact that the Dale had been reduced to ten men, it was actually Darlo who were under the cosh for much of the second period. An old couple sitting behind me, supporting Darlo, whinged constantly about the team, the referee, in fact just about everything. Nevertheless, after we managed to secure a 0-0 draw, I just shook my head in disbelief at their constant moaning. We were third in the league for God’s sake. Maybe they should have cast their minds back to the 1970s when the club was always struggling to avoid re-election.

After the match, trapped behind some slow-moving traffic, we crawled past the Ratcliffe Arms and the lugubriously-named Cemetery Inn. “Are these glasses dead?” you half expect the barman to say when he passes your table!

 Sick of being stuck in the slow-moving traffic, we then decided to stop off for a quick drink in another pub down the road called the Clog and Shawl, before heading home. Over a bottle of Bud, I read my programme, which contained a good section on Darlo that was even up to date, including all the recent signings. Quite impressive when compared with the Darlington programme.

 After dropping Mike and Simon off, Ian and I went for a night out in Colburn. Once we had grabbed something to eat and got washed and changed we went to the Colburn Lodge pub. Upon entering the bar, Ian spotted a girl he wanted to avoid so we decided to make a quick exit.

  Instead of the Colburn Lodge we went to JT’s. Here we met Steve ( a mate of Ian’s) plus another lad. I got into conversation with a couple of girls – one was called Anne and she worked for Mencap, while the other worked for the DSS in Chorley. They were both canny lasses but not my type.

 Steve, Ian and I then went to Louis (a club which is open until well after midnight).  In the dark interior Ian happened to bump into the same girl  he’d been trying to avoid earlier, and I couldn’t understand why he wanted to steer clear of her in the first place. In fact, my first impressions of her were favourable – she even bought me a bottle of Bud. Her friend was nice as well so the five of us went on to a club called Stacks.

 By this time I was the worse for wear and ended up being sick in the toilet. Getting my second wind, I then carried on drinking, like some guest at a Roman banquet! From what I could see the girl that Ian had been trying to avoid was really keen on him. Unfortunately, the feelings were not mutual!  I therefore told him to be honest with her – to my mind he seemed scared of making a commitment. Basically, I urged him to make up his mind rather than string the girl along.

 We left Stacks at about half past two and Ian and I went back to his parents’ house, where he was staying at the time. After drinking two cups of tea and having a chat, I went to bed at about half past three.

For the home game against Mansfield Town we met in the Dalesman as usual. Mike had arranged to meet me early so he could take me to the barbers shop on Victoria Road. 

We returned to the Dalesman where we saw Steve Keeney with Alan, his beanpole of a son, all six feet six inches of him. I then went on to tell Mike about last Saturday night in Colburn with Ian, especially the bit when I was sick and carried on drinking, despite only recently discovering that I had stomach ulcers. At this, Mike just shook his head.

 Once Ian and Simon made their appearance in the Dalesman, we had a quick pint, then headed for the ground and bought our programmes.

I talked briefly to George Reynolds outside Strikers Bar about Flipper’s Side, but it was obvious that he was still busy with the groundwork for the new stadium; so we decided not to ask him any more as we didn’t want to appear to be pestering him.

While we were in Strikers Bar, Mike spoke to Neil Johnson about our book and how we were still waiting for an answer from George regarding sponsorship. Neil couldn’t believe that it was taking so long for him to give us an answer and hinted that we had better start looking elsewhere.

 Fortunately, it was much cooler in there since they’d installed some air conditioning units in the ceiling. Mike also talked with Roger “doom and gloom” Martin. In his opinion, Hodgy’s days as manager of the club were numbered. With the air of someone in the know, he assured us that Denis Smith and Malcolm Crosby were waiting in the wings.

For the second match in a row, Mike and Ian sat in the East Stand while I went to the pitch-side disabled area with Simon. During the game there were frequent chants of “Georgie, Georgie, show us yer scarf” from the fans in the Tin Shed to which he eagerly obliged, even standing up, in order that they could get a better view.  He just wallowed in all the attention.  

However, no amount of scarf-waving can conjure up a goal and for the second consecutive match we ended up with a disappointing nil-nil draw.  Craig Russell came closest to scoring when he crashed a header against the bar following a cross from Marco Gabbiadini after seventeen minutes.  After that, we just didn’t look like scoring.

Mike took me to the Ambassador Suite after the game where we spoke briefly to Ian Butterworth (the assistant manager) and  former Quaker keeper Mark Prudhoe. From what he said, Butterworth still seemed confident that we would achieve promotion. I wasn’t too sure. It was also nice to see Prudhoe again, as we always got on well while he was at the club under Brian Little and he remains a legend to Darlo fans to this day.

We then headed for the Queens Head in Darlington town centre which was unexpectedly quite deserted, so we went instead to the Nags Head for a drink. Later on, we returned to the Queens Head to find that it had livened up.

 For the final home match of the month, Plymouth Argyle were the visitors to Feethams. Mike had been working overtime and arrived at the Dalesman at a quarter to two to see me and my nephew Adam already in the bar. Mike then bought Adam a packet of crisps and two bottles of Bud for the two of us. Then Jamie Dennis arrived, with his brother Adam already waiting for him in the bar.

As soon as Ian and Simon arrived the latter pushed me to the ground. After I had bought a programme we went to Strikers Bar. While he was sipping his Pepsi, my nephew said, “Wouldn’t it be great if Michael Owen played for Darlo?” “Who needs Michael Owen when we’ve got Marco Gabbiadini!” I replied. Adam just gave me a blank look of incomprehension.

During the game Mike sat next to Karl Alexander while I went in the pitch-side disabled area with Adam and Simon. To our amusement, we saw a Darlo fan in the Tin Shed being bundled away by a steward for some misdemeanour. As he was led past, I shouted, “Make sure you take him home to his mam!” 

After the game, which we won 2-0, thanks to goals from Lee Nogan (his first league goal for the club) and substitute Paul Campbell,   Nogan had been criticised by certain elements of the crowd as they expected him to score more goals than he actually did.  I thought that he’d be better playing behind a front two  rather than as an out and out forward.  But I wasn’t the manager.

We went to Strikers Bar where we saw Andy, Richard and Earl Gray. John said that it was about time that “No-Goals” Nogan had scored, especially given the amount of money he was reputedly earning.  However, I agreed to disagree.

At around seven I decided to book a cab home. Once I arrived, and later got into bed, I reflected on what had been a satisfactory month for Darlo.  We had taken eight points from twelve, kept four consecutive clean  sheets and moved up from sixth to third in the league.